Although grieving is important, as is making room for difficult emotions that come up for us, it is essential for us to ensure that the way we invite our grief in, approach our grief, and process our grief, is done in a healthy way. Grief is complex, heavy, and can be especially difficult to navigate on our own. Receiving added support from a mental health professional may provide you with the added compassion, guidance, support, insight, and direction that you need to process your grief and grow with your grief in a healthy, compassionate way. We have provided some tips and examples below as a guide you can refer to as you consider what is best for you, but we always recommend working with a trained mental health professional if possible. This is not something you should have to navigate alone.

Healthy options for grieving:

1.) Writing down a list of known triggers for you that exacerbate your grief. Examples can include: missing out on events, having to leave events early, baby showers (for some navigating infertility just as an example), flare-ups, medical appointments, and perhaps prior to or during menstrual cycles (if applicable) when hormones may exacerbate grief as well.

2.) Writing down a list of 4 things that help you when you are grieving. Some of these may be self-care items or coping skills you find are helpful for you! Examples can include: crying, journaling, talking to a supportive person, and/or cuddling with a pet.

3.) Creating a grief action plan each day, where you write down possible triggers, check-in with yourself about how you are feeling overall, and proactively plan to have dedicated moments for processing your grief both before known triggers and after known triggers that perhaps were not expected. An example of a prompt for this that can be personalized to meet your needs can be found at the bottom of this list.

4.) Working with a mental health professional (if possible) who is familiar with grief, the complexities of grief, and grief as it relates to navigating chronic illness diagnoses.

5.) Creating an action plan for noticing grief when it may come up unexpectedly. Sometimes our symptoms, an old picture, or certain places may bring up grief when we least expect it. Creating an action plan that you can personalize to meet your needs may be helpful. An example of a prompt for creating this action plan is at the bottom of this list.

6.) Create a grief safety plan with a mental health professional. This can help keep you safe when very difficult emotions come up for you, so you have a plan you can follow that provides you with access to all of the support you may need. This is especially important if you notice that you are experiencing any thoughts of harming yourself or suicidal ideation. Please see our Crisis and Suicide section if you need support or additional information specific to this.

Daily and Unexpected Grief Action Plans Can Be Found Below: