Loving Yourself Each And Every Day
It is often easier for us to love others and harder for us to love ourselves. We often put the needs of others before our own. Perhaps you feel guilty when you put yourself first or your own needs first, and put yourself down when you can’t do what others want for you to do. You may hear others say that you are very hard on yourself, you may beat yourself up when you feel you can be doing better, and may struggle prioritizing your own needs. The truth is that these ways of thinking and patterns can be very damaging when living with an illness like POTS. Living with POTS and thriving with POTS requires you to listen to your body without judgment, prioritize what your body needs before the needs of others, and self-compassion is a large piece of that. The good news is that there are many steps you can take in order to begin showing your mind and body the kindness, love, and compassion it deserves, while reminding yourself that you are not alone in this journey. With millions around the globe coping with POTS, magnified because of COVID-19, we want to reinforce that this is not a journey you need to navigate on your own.
Before proceeding, start here with two short self-compassion meditations that were developed by Hannah Castillo, a mental health counselor.
Tips For How You Can Start
1.) Take a self-compassion quiz to see how compassionate you currently are towards yourself and gain insight into certain areas you may need to work on.
2.) Each day, write down three things you are proud of, three ways you were mindful of your body, and three ways you practiced self-care or are planning to practice self-care this week.
For example:
I am proud of: taking my medications today, using dry shampoo to save spoons today, and reaching out to a friend.
I was mindful of my body by: resting more today, using my wheelchair when I went outside, and pacing more often.
I practiced self-care today by: listening to a few of my favorite songs, looking at cute animal videos, and meditating.
3.) Notice when you are having a negative thought, write it down, and challenge it by re-framing it positively so it is more compassionate and loving.
For example:
Instead of: “I did nothing today, I am lazy”
Reframing looks like: “I chose to rest more today and am being mindful of what my body needs”
See Reframing Thoughts to get more ideas!
You can also consider tracking the negative thoughts throughout the week to see if they are decreasing in frequency or increasing.
4.) Write down three positive affirmations each day. See Positive Affirmations for some ideas.
5.) Write down some of your favorite quotes that make you smile on some post-its, and put them on your mirrors, doors, cabinets, and even stash some in some of your bags.
6.) Set alarms on your phone that have positive quotes or affirmations about yourself.
7.) Start a self-compassion journal! Each day you can talk about how you offered yourself kindness, list some areas for improvement, talk about ways you have grown, and list some areas you want to work on. A free downloadable PDF option is listed below.
8.) Listen to some free guided self-compassion exercises!
9.) Use a recording device or app on your phone to leave yourself some encouraging messages you can listen to when you are having a particularly difficult day, or moment.
10.) Write a letter to yourself (or multiple letters) you can read when you need added encouragement on a difficult day. It is amazing how helpful our own words can be! You can keep these letters next to your bed or in a dedicated self-compassion journal. See the free downloadable PDF option listed below for a helpful template.